Trust, and Have Faith

Its 1 AM on a Monday morning and what do you know… I can’t sleep. Shocker. I am laying in bed going through all of my social media accounts watching all of the hurt in our world play right in front of my eyes as I keep my mouth shut, not in fear of others rejecting my opinion but simply in respect of those whose opinions may not directly see eye to eye with mine. I feel a message laid on my heart and knew it needed to be shared. In the midst of it all, I feel this pain. A Pain that cannot be seen or heard. One that is deep and shows neither a bruise nor a cut. One that is gut wrenching and heartbreaking because it is just that. I feel a pain in my heart, due in small part to the hurt in our world, but mostly because in a time where I should only be growing closer to the Lord I felt myself ultimately growing farther apart. This brought tears to my eyes. Why? It could be because I have let down the One who has done nothing but build me up since day one regardless of my actions. The one who has spared my life in times where I felt nothing short of worthless and sick. I have let down my God, my Father who sent His Son to die for ME and MY sins. A selfless father that will do everything in his everlasting almighty power for the sake of my happiness even when I am letting him down. All of a sudden it hits me. God has such a selfless and unbreakable love for me that no matter how far I feel like I am drifting he is always right beside me. He is always walking with me and guiding me even when I feel so lost.

For so long, I have tried and tried and tried and even tried some more to figure out what it is I am meant to be or to do. To this day I still don’t know. Some days I still want to be a princess, others I realize that I can’t make a living and raise a family off a being a princess unless I lived in a country with a monarchy and had a royal bloodline…which sadly is not the case. I think…. maybe I should check out that ancestry website. Anyways the point is, it is okay to not know.  Its okay to NOT know because even if I don’t know He does! How great is that, y’all. He has this grander plan for my life that I couldn’t even imagine.

If you would have asked me a year ago what I would be doing I probably would have told you I would have stayed in Auburn for the summer. Now I am at home and I get the pleasure of babysitting three of the most loving, compassionate and influential kids I have ever met. They teach me more about myself each day than I would have ever thought possible. This is all part of his plan for me. I realized at an early age that I had huge passion for children, whether it be helping them, taking care of them, or even just getting to hang out with them. I don’t think God could have chosen a better way for me to learn about myself than through kids I absolutely adore. More importantly, they have brought me closer to the Lord. Crazy right? How could a 6, 8, and 12-year-old do that for an 18-year-old? It’s definitely possible and even in the simplest of ways. We say the blessing before every meal. I pray for them every night, to follow in the Lords path for each of them.

We serve an awesome God, y’all. He is always good and I mean always. There is no one on earth that would send his one and only son to die a gruesome death on the cross for our sins. We all sin because the only perfect person is God. It is so easy to repent from your sins and ask for forgiveness. He forgives and forgives and forgives all day but he can only forgive if you repent and ask for forgiveness. I always think of a song I learned at vacation bible school “A- admit to God you are a sinner, B- believe that Jesus is Gods only son, C- confess your faith in Jesus as your savior and Lord forever more.” I learned that in 2004 at the Rickshaw Rally, here we are in 2016 and I still remember it. Believing in God and trusting that he forgives can be simple if you allow it to be. We make so many things in life harder than they should be because we don’t have faith and we don’t trust that God’s got us. God has had us, He’s got us, and he will always have us.

Lord, I pray that you let us see the truth in your word and give us the courage to not be ashamed to know you and seek you in everything we do. I pray that you help us to accept and love others regardless of the color of their skin because we know you love us all. I pray for peace in a world full of hate and strife and that you would have your hands on those mourning the loss of a loved one. Amen.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Mathew 5:43-48

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

2 Peter 3:9

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

1 John 4:8

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6