Ever since I can remember I have
been asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I can imagine I probably said I wanted
to be Cinderella or any princess for that matter when I was three years old.
The older I got, the more I got asked that dreaded question, “What do you want
to be? Or What do you want to go to school for?” But let me tell I was always
the one that had it all together. I had this awesome plan for my life. I was
going to go to school at Auburn university, obtain a degree in Biomedical
Sciences, continue my education in Medical School, where eventually I would
pursue a career as a Pediatric Oncologist or Orthopedic Surgeon depending on
how many bones I had broken/ sprained/ bruised/ dislocated that year. Awesome
plan for a 16 year old, Am I Right? I mean who wouldn’t want to spend half of
their life in school to end up making more than the average person. Obviously me, because boy did life slap me right in the
face when I got the grade for my first test of my first pre-med Biology course,
that might I add spent days studying for. I realized that, sure I absolutely
loved helping people, but I never made that plan for myself. I made that plan
because it sounded good on applications, and at pageants, and quite frankly it
made my parents proud thinking that I had a plan for myself. I realized that,
besides when I was three and had no idea what I was even talking about, that
every time I was asked what I wanted to be it was never actually what I wanted
to be. It sounded good, so I made my self believe that yes that’s what I wanted
to do. So I decided that I didn’t want to be pre med because I honestly didn’t like
science all that much, so I am thinking okay I am really good at math what is
something that I can do math with ACCOUNTING! That same day I went and took my
folder from the College of Science and Mathematics to the College of Business. I
had another plan! I’m going to law school to be a tax attorney, Y’all. Wait
what? No seriously, anyone that knows me knows this is a joke and just a bump
in the road for me because lets be 100% honest Accounting sounds like a pretty
boring thing ( NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE WHO DOES THIS OR ENJOYS THIS.) Half of the
time I want to change my hair to some exotic color the other half I am googling
safe islands to move to. I am such an unpredictable person that will literally
laugh at anything uncontrollably, I am not kidding I cant stop it, especially when
its inappropriate that’s when it gets
the loudest and most obnoxious. Sorry back to the point. (SEE!!!) At this point
in my life, I have absolutely no clue what I want to do. Not even close. And for
once, I am not being asked everyday what I want to do, because now I am being
told what is going to make me the most money. Who cares about that? Oh wait me,
again. We are told to do something we love and we will never work a day in our
lives. But what if what I love cant afford me. What if what I love isn’t actually
a job at all, because I love to eat (if anyone knows anyone hiring to eat for
them, please keep me in mind). I love to play the guitar, I love to lay out on
the beach, I love to take naps, but none of these things are going to make me successful.
So are careers something we really love?
Or are they something that’s going to get us by? All I know right now as an 18
year old, is that I cried when I (my mom) spent $84 on groceries Sunday
morning, do you know what I could get with $84?? I don’t want to be miserable
for the rest of my life because I hate what I do, but I also don’t want to be
miserable for the rest of my life because I am just scraping by week to week
paycheck to paycheck because I didn’t jump at the opportunities that were
thrown in my face. I am honestly so blessed with the opportunity to even be in
school right now as much as I say I hate it.
The next
time you’re asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” just be honest,
because if you aren’t honest…you’ll probably end up like me feeling disappointed
not being able to live up to the standard you set for yourself. I was disappointed
in the beginning but I am only 18 years old and I have realized that I am going
to be disappointed a lot throughout the years of my life. To be successful you
have to work, but it is up to you what you are successful doing. God has a plan
above all other plans that will eventually be revealed after we have struggled
and experienced all the wrong things for us. I am still waiting for Him to show
me my way.
“Many are the plans
in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail.”
Proverbs 19:21
